Workplace jokes: 50 original, work-appropriate jokes for any team

A shared laugh at the start of a meeting can do more for a team than a slide about collaboration. It lowers the temperature, makes people feel they belong and reminds everyone that the printer is the common enemy.

Here are 50 workplace jokes that are safe for work, grouped by theme, with guidance on using humour well and the kinds of joke to leave out. If you want to follow the laughter with something lasting, see how New Dynamics employee recognition helps teams thank each other for real work.

About these jokes: all 50 were written by the New Dynamics editorial team. We have tried hard to keep them original, although jokes about meetings have a way of being invented many times over. Use and adapt them freely.

What makes a joke work-appropriate?

Run any joke through five tests before you tell it at work.

1. It targets a situation. Meetings, deadlines, email and coffee are fair game. A person or a group is not.
2. It includes everyone. Nobody in the room is the punchline, and nobody needs inside knowledge to get it.
3. It would be fine if overheard. Imagine the newest starter, the chief executive and a customer all hearing it.
4. It fits the moment. A joke about workload lands badly in the week of redundancies.
5. It is kind. The best work humour is self-deprecating or gently absurd.

Jokes about meetings

1. This meeting could have been an email. That email could have been a nod in the corridor.
2. Our meeting had an agenda, a timekeeper and clear actions. Then I woke up.
3. “Let's take this offline” is office language for “let's never speak of this again”.
4. I joined the call two minutes early, which makes me the host, the IT department and the entertainment.
5. We held a meeting to reduce the number of meetings. It went so well that we made it weekly.
6. “Quick question”: the two most misleading words in business.
7. “You're on mute” is the unofficial motto of modern work.
8. The meeting was meant to last thirty minutes. So was the sequel.

Jokes about email and chat

9. I hope this email finds you well. Mine found me at 11pm, hiding.
10. “Per my last email” is the politest way to raise your voice.
11. I reached inbox zero once. Then I refreshed.
12. Reply all: for when two hundred people need to know that you said thanks.
13. My out-of-office message is more confident than I am.
14. I marked it as unread, so that Future Me could also ignore it.
15. Our chat tool has a channel for everything, except finding out which channel it was in.

Monday and coffee jokes

16. Monday is fine. It is the first nine hours that are hard.
17. My coffee and I have an agreement. It does the mornings.
18. I am not saying I need coffee, but my keyboard has started filing complaints.
19. The week has seven days. Five of them are Monday in disguise.
20. I started the week with a to-do list. It has since started a family.
21. Friday me makes promises that Monday me has to keep.
22. Someone put decaf in the pot. We are holding a lessons-learned session.

Jokes about deadlines and projects

23. The project is on track. Nobody has checked which track.
24. We do not have problems. We have learning opportunities. We are extremely well educated.
25. The deadline was tight, so we added a meeting to discuss it.
26. Scope creep is when “one small thing” brings its whole family.
27. Our roadmap is very agile. It changes direction whenever someone senior sneezes.
28. I work well under pressure. I would just like to try the alternative once.
29. ASAP stands for “after several additional postponements”.
30. We launched on time. We simply redefined time.

Office and remote working jokes

31. My commute is twelve steps. I still manage to be late.
32. Working from home has taught me that my cat has strong opinions about spreadsheets.
33. Dress code: business on top, mystery below.
34. The office printer can sense fear. And deadlines.
35. Hot-desking is musical chairs with laptops.
36. I have a standing desk. Mostly it stands there while I sit somewhere else.
37. The office plant and I have the same goal: survive until Friday.

HR and performance review jokes

38. My self-review says “exceeds expectations”. My expectations were very reasonable.
39. My goals are SMART: slightly mysterious and rarely tracked.
40. I asked for feedback and got a calendar invitation. Should I be worried?
41. Our values are on the wall. We are still working on getting them off the wall.
42. “We are like a family here.” So we argue about the dishwasher?
43. The appraisal form asked where I see myself in five years. I wrote “finishing this form”.
44. HR said my door should always be open. I work in an open-plan office. I have been doing brilliantly.

If joke 39 is a little too close to home, our guide to what the SMART goals acronym stands for can help. For joke 44, see how to make an open door policy real.

One-liners for presentations

45. I will keep this short, like my attention span after lunch.
46. This slide has one number on it. Please enjoy it.
47. I have twelve slides and one good idea. Let's find it together.
48. If you remember one thing from today, I will be delighted and slightly surprised.
49. Questions at the end, please. Answers, I hope, shortly afterwards.
50. Thank you for coming. I know you had a choice of meetings.

How to use humour at work

• Open with it, briefly. One line at the start of a meeting relaxes people. Five minutes of material does the opposite.
• Laugh at yourself first. Self-deprecating humour from a leader tells the team that mistakes are survivable.
• Do not force it. If you are not naturally funny, a warm remark works as well as a joke.
• Read the room. Skip the humour when people are anxious, grieving or under real pressure.
• Let others be funny too. A team where only the boss makes jokes is not a relaxed team.
• Pair it with substance. Laughter opens people up. Follow it with something useful, such as thanks for a specific piece of work. Our 60 workplace quotes and teamwork quotes offer more openers.

Jokes to avoid at work

Some humour damages teams and creates legal risk. Leave out jokes about:

• race, nationality, accent, religion, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, age, disability, pregnancy or appearance;
• a named colleague's mistakes, habits or personal life;
• redundancies, pay or anything people are genuinely worried about;
• sex, or anything you would not say in front of a customer;
• politics, unless you enjoy long silences.

Acas defines harassment as “unwanted or offensive behaviour related to a protected characteristic”, in its guidance on discrimination and the Equality Act 2010, which applies in Great Britain. Notice the word unwanted. Describing a remark as banter does not make it acceptable to the person who heard it. Our plain guide to the definition of discrimination at work explains the terms. This is general information, not legal advice.

There is a wellbeing angle as well. The UK Health and Safety Executive's Relationships standard expects organisations to promote positive behaviours and to deal with unacceptable behaviour such as bullying. Jokes at someone's expense, repeated often enough, can become exactly that.

If a joke lands badly

1. Notice. A silence, a forced smile or someone looking away is information.
2. Apologise simply. “That was a poor joke, and I am sorry.” Do not explain why it was funny.
3. Do not ask the person to reassure you. It is not their job to make you feel better.
4. Check in privately later, if someone seemed hurt.
5. Learn from it. Retire that kind of joke.

If you are on the receiving end, you can say so directly, speak to your manager or use your organisation's formal route. See our guide to workplace relationships.

Frequently asked questions

What is a good work-appropriate joke?

A good work-appropriate joke laughs at a situation everyone shares. For example: “We held a meeting to reduce the number of meetings. It went so well that we made it weekly.” It is clean, targets nobody and would be fine if anyone overheard it.

What are some safe-for-work jokes for meetings?

Try “This meeting could have been an email. That email could have been a nod in the corridor”, or “You're on mute is the unofficial motto of modern work.” Keep it to one line at the start, then move on to the agenda.

Is it professional to tell jokes at work?

Yes, within limits. Light, inclusive humour builds rapport and eases tension. It becomes unprofessional when it targets people, excludes colleagues, touches on protected characteristics or ignores the mood in the room.

Which jokes should I avoid at work?

Avoid jokes about race, nationality, religion, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, age, disability, pregnancy or appearance, and jokes about a named colleague. Also avoid humour about redundancies, pay or anything people are genuinely worried about.

Can I use these workplace jokes freely?

Yes. All 50 were written by the New Dynamics editorial team. You can use and adapt them in meetings, presentations, newsletters and team channels without asking permission or adding a credit.

What should I do if my joke offends someone?

Apologise simply and sincerely, without explaining or defending the joke. Do not ask the person to reassure you. Check in with them privately later if they seemed hurt, and stop telling that kind of joke.

Your next step: open your next meeting with one line

1. Pick one joke from the list that suits your team.
2. Run it through the five tests.
3. Tell it once, then get on with the agenda.
4. Follow it, before the meeting ends, with thanks to one person for something specific.

For a clear policy on behaviour that protects everyone, read and download our anti-harassment policy guide. The guide is free to read, and the PDF uses our short download form.

Want recognition and feedback to be part of everyday work? Book a New Dynamics demo and bring your team's current habits. You can also email contact@new-dynamics.com.